Last week I was called into a meeting at work and was told that I was being made redundant. Big shock, yes. Emotional, yes. Scary, yes. I guess during these "Global Financial Crisis" times, it is quite common for people to lose their jobs... and even though the possibility of losing your job is in the back of your mind, it is still a huge shock when it happens to you. I had never wondered how losing one's job would feel like and I don't know if any of you have experienced the same thing but now speaking from experience it feels oddly similar to a break-up with a boyfriend. You get that same sickly feeling in the pit of your stomach and you lose your appetite...I guess it is that sense of loss you feel. Not only do you lose that sense of security of having a paying job, you also lose the great people you work with, the feeling of belonging to a company, sense of sadness because you wonder why you've lost your job - could you have done anything better to keep it? Sure they say that it is nothing personal and it wasn't performance based but surely it can't all be a luck of the draw to get the chop.
So today is a new day, after going out and buying myself a brand new laptop, I've decided that everything happens for a reason and this is my calling. I am not happy as an IT Consultant/Business Analyst, I don't have that passion or drive to be an IT Consultant for the rest of my life...I know I can do a great job at it but at the end of the day it isn't what makes me feel alive. I want to work for myself, I want to put in the hard yards for my own business and reap the rewards but also experience the lows and learn from them.
So I have been having mixed feelings and emotions in the past week. There are times when I feel absolutely excited to the point where I can't sleep till 5am even though I'm dead tired because I keep thinking of all the possibilities of what's out there for me...what I can achieve...what I can do with my life now that I don't have a job I have to force myself to wake up in the morning to. But there are still times, like today, where I get scared and feel lost, not knowing how I will get through this. How I can achieve my dream to bake my own Cupcake business. How I will be able to survive without a constant income and what would happen if it didn't work.
But then I get little surprises along the way, like another cupcake order or blog comments from people I don't know telling me that I'm inspiring and that they heart my blog. These are the signs that I'm doing something right, I have a sense of certainty that I will succeed because I won't accept anything else. Failing is just a step closer to success. Reading about all the stories about inspiring people who have made their own ideas and businesses work, I want to aspire to be one of those people. I want to bring more than just my cupcakes into this world, I want to make a difference to the world. However small I want to be able to give back to society, those that aren't as fortunate as us. I may have lost my job but at least I have a family that love and support me, a roof over my head and my whole life in front of me. I've been supporting Save the Children for many years now. During these tough financial times it may seem difficult to be able to donate money you can still make a difference, it's less than $25 a month which is about 6 coffees a month you have to give up. By making this small gesture you will be supporting an organisation that fights for children's rights across the world. Children that are brought into poverty, abuse and prostitution before they even get a fair chance at what we call a fair life. So when I feel down, depressed, unsure or scared I will think about how lucky I am. How blessed I am to even be able to have the choice of what I want to eat tonight for dinner, what outfit I should wear on the weekend and to be able to drive my Type R.
I will be posting much more regularly now, hopefully they will be shorter posts with more photos! I also wanted to thank everyone for their support, it means so much to me. It keeps me strong and I will make this happen.
Chanel Cupcake order that took a good few hours to make but it was heaps of fun.
Cupcakes I made for Mum's Birthday.